Safe in my Castle
by KatCarlyle4200
Summary: Castle decides to go on a one year trip around the world with Alexis, so how is Beckett? A Caskett story, light with drama.
1. Going away

"A one year trip around the world." Kate Beckett leaned back in her chair. Castle frowned. "Don't sound so wounded." he said, sarcastically. "So, when do you leave for this... expedition, Castle?" she said, with a slight tease. He shifted uncomfortably. "Tomorrow." All she did was stare. After a minute of silence, she said, "And you just thought to tell me now?"

"Well... you just kind of seemed busy before..." She laughed. "Well, enjoy your trip, Rick."

He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could say it his phone rang, and she answered it mid-ring. When he got up, she pondered what it would be like not having him around for an entire year. She sat back and watched mixed expressions come on to the faces of her team as Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie listened to him go on and on about this trip. Eventually, Castle waved goodbye to all and left the precinct. Lanie eyed Beckett, and when their eyes Kate looked away quickly. The rest of the day went by, and although quieter, it went quite boringly. She left the precinct feeling off, and when she arrived at her apartment there was a package at her door. She picked it up questioningly, until she saw that it was from Castle. She took it inside and set it down on the counter. She practically forgot about it until she was eating breakfast the next morning, and it was still sitting there. "I'll open it later." She said to herself, but it continued to remain unopened.

(2 months later)

At every new place Castle and Alexis visited, they sent the precinct a postcard. Beckett and her team continued to solve case after case, and Beckett found herself looking around sometimes, expecting some witty remark from the man who normally stood above her. That night, she started feeling different. The past months she had been feeling a little off her game, but it was different now. When she slept she had nightmares about being alone, and being lost and unable to be found. She woke up every night with a cold sweat, shivering. "What is happening to me?" She decided to call Lanie. Of course, since it was 3:00 in the morning, Lanie asked, in an aggressive tone, "This better be worth it."

"I need to talk to you."

"Then start talking."

Kate sighed. "A couple weeks ago, I started having these weird nightmares. They scare me, and I always wake up freezing cold, and sweating."

"That's normal, dreams can do that to you."

"Yeah, that's not it. I always wake up thinking about Castle."

"Mmhmm." Lanie left out a soft laugh.

"What?"

"Goodnight, Kate." Lanie hung up and left her to wonder what everyone else seemed to know that she didn't.

(6 months later)

Kate woke up yet again from her nightly... well nightmare. She got out of bed and took a long shower, trying to let the hot water wash away her troubles. Sadly, it didn't work. She arrived at the precinct early, and stared into the coffee she had made but not drank. When Esposito and Ryan arrived, they were delivered another postcard. "Wow. Can you believe it's been 8 months since we've seen Castle?" Esposito remarked at the postcard which was from Auckland, New Zealand. "Yeah. The guy leaves and takes all the interesting with him." responded Ryan. Beckett came in with a fresh cup of coffee after hearing their comments. "At least he left the espresso machine." They smirked but left their eyes on her. "What?" They looked at each other. "You don't seem to miss him very much." She looked into her coffee cup. "It's easier to get work done when it's quiet."

"Whatever you say, Detective."


	2. Home

(A/N)! Thank you so much those of you who wanted me to keep writing for this story! It was originally only supposed to be a 2-part story, but now I kinda want to do something that happens after the story ends. (Like an epilogue or something) So if you have an idea please feel free to tell me!!!

(2 weeks before Castle is supposed to return)

Kate Beckett sat in her kitchen, staring at the package. She wondered aloud what could possibly be inside it. She toyed with it, shaking it around, guessing, tossing it and rolling it around. After a half hour, she sighed. "Okay, no more stalling. I just need to open it." She almost held her breath while she slowly opened the package. She exhaled loudly and laughed when she saw that is was only a pen and a pad of paper. Then she saw something else. The corner of an envelope barely stuck out from under the pad of paper. She pulled it out. 'KB' was written neatly on the envelope. She opened it to find an index card with an address and a phone number on it. She felt the oxygen leave her body.

"He wanted me to keep in contact..." It had been eleven months and one week. In two weeks, he would be returning. "Crap." She leaned against a cabinet and let the index card fall gently to the floor. She decided the best thing to do was to surprise him at the airport, and told herself she had to keep that a secret so he wouldn't find out.

That night, she didn't have a nightmare. Well, it started out as a nightmare, with her being lost and alone in the dark, with one streetlight shining bright. But this time it was different. Castle stepped into the light, and extended a hand. She took it, beaming, and embraced him. She woke up hugging her pillow. She felt happy, and decided that the light at the end of the tunnel had finally come for her dreams.

(the day of Castle's return)

Beckett stood gracefully by the gate and watched his plane land. She had a smile on her face. She saw Alexis get off first, and waved. She was followed by Castle... who was walking arm in arm with a beautiful woman. Her smile evaporated as she saw a smile cover his face. He approached her and hugged her.

"Well if it isn't Detective Beckett. What a pleasant surprise! Lita, this is my friend, Kate Beckett." Castle brought forward his foreign beauty, and Kate reluctantly shook her hand.

"Okay, well, I have a case to get back to. Nice to see you again Castle!" She called over her shoulder as she walked out of the airport, almost sure she could feel Castle's eyes following her as she left. "Who the hell was that?" she asked herself. She sighed. "This is going to hurt later." She felt the warmth of the beautiful, strange woman who he affectionately called "Lita" on her hands still. He must have found her after he gave up on me sending him a letter, she thought.

"This is all my fault." She said out loud. She felt shocked, yet her heart believed every word as it sank inside her chest. Just because she didn't speak to him for a year didn't mean he wouldn't come back, right? This new woman wouldn't steal Rick away from her, would she? Thoughts reeled through Beckett's mind, and she didn't realize she was at home until she heard a knock on the door. She snapped out of her head and got up to answer it. She hid a frown when it was Castle behind the door.

"Come in." she said, making way for him to enter her apartment.

"Beckett... Why didn't you write me?" She laughed. "I didn't open the package until two weeks ago. That's when I decided to surprise you at the airport. I wasn't expecting a surprise from you, I have to say." His puzzled look pressed her to continue. "It's not like you told anyone about that woman you were with. I just wasn't expecting it, that's all."

He stepped closer to her. "Lita and I aren't romantically connected, Detective." His blue eyes searched her face, looking for a hint of forgiveness. "Oh. Really." she sounded distant, and turned away.

"I'm telling the truth. Actually, she's better friends with Alexis then she is with me." Beckett looked at the floor.

Rick thought she didn't believe him, while she was only considering the outcome if she told him about her nightmares.

"Kate."

Her face snapped up and she looked him in the eyes when he said her name like that, so gently that it made her heart hurt. "Castle..." She sighed. "I'm going to tell you something I don't want you to tell anyone, do you understand?" He nodded, and kept his eyes locked with hers. "After you left, I guess something happened to make me start missing you. Not physically, but unconsciously. I had horrible nightmares every night about two months after you left. The day I opened that package, you pulled me out of my nightmares." His eyes flashed hurt and comfort at the same time.

"I made you have horrible nightmares. For almost a year." His voice was filled with a hint of disbelief. For once, the writer was at a loss for words. "But it's okay, Castle, because you're here now. You're home." Kate stared into his bottomless blue eyes.

"It made me very happy to see you waiting for me at the airport." He moved an inch closer to her and put his hand on her waist. He pulled her close to him in an embrace, and when they broke apart he left his hands on her waist, and she left hers around his neck.

"And you don't have to have nightmares anymore. You're safe now. I'm always here for you. Always." Kate didn't want him to see her eyes, which were tearing up, so she closed them and leaned in. Her lips met his in a sweet, but full of love and longing, kiss.

"Castle?"

"Yes, Kate?"

"Please don't leave me again."

He smiled and kissed her briefly again, loving how he could finally express his emotions for her, and said, "I won't. You'll always be safe here with your Castle."


	3. Before

(A/N)! Okay, I've decided to do a before and after, 2 extra chapters to go along with this story, so enjoy ;)

**This is taking place BEFORE the story (even though it's the 3rd chapter)!!!)**

(2 weeks before Castle is scheduled for his trip)

"Hey, Esposito, glad I caught you. Let Beckett know I won't be coming in today, will you?" Castle smiled at him. "Sure thing bro." Esposito watched Castle turn and jog out of the precinct. "Hm. That was strange."

"What's strange?" Kate Beckett put her hands on her hips behind him.

"Geez, I've known you for so long but you still make me jump when you do that."

"Where's Castle? He's normally here by now."

"Oh, he told me to tell you he wouldn't be shadowing you today. Then he jogged outta here."

"Oh," she sounded a little hurt. "He could've at least said it to my face. Or called. Anyways," she said, internally shaking it off. "We have work to do."

***

Every few days Castle would be in and out of the precinct, and whenever she tried to talk to him about it, he changed the subject. Then, once while they were sitting at her desk, she asked again.

"Well, I'm going on a one year trip around the world. That's why I've been in and out of here. I'm going with Alexis."

That morning, Kate wasn't planning on hearing that. Not after that weird dream. So on the outside, she laughed it off, avoiding Lanie's concerned look. After he left, her dream played itself over and over again.

_Flashback--_

_Kate ran through the streets of New York, and before she knew it she was looking up at his apartment building. _

"_Be careful, okay?"  
"Do I detect actual concern for my well-being?"  
"Screw this up, and I'll kill you."  
"That's more like it."_

"_Thanks for saving my life."  
"Ah, I was just trying to avoid paperwork."_

"_Yeah, I know. You were not asking very loudly."  
"I know, I'm like a Jedi like that."_

"_So. Looks like I managed to make it through the case without getting injured, shot or killed."  
"Yeah, well, maybe tomorrow."_

"_Wait, there's a sex scene in the book? Between us?"  
"There's a sex scene between Nikki Heat and the roguishly handsome reporter who's helping her."  
"__Oh, good. So he's nothing like you."_

_Her remembrance of their conversations made her smile, until she reached out to open the door and there was a loud crash, she pulled out her weapon and broke down the door, only to find Alexis being held hostage behind a dresser that was pushed over and Castle with his hands up. The captor who was holding Alexis shouted, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO INVOLVE THE POLICE!" and shot at Castle. Beckett didn't have a clear shot in fear of hitting Alexis. Castle, who had jumped behind the counter, crawled over and mouthed something to her. She couldn't tell what he was saying, her eyes flicked from him to the shooter. The shooter shouted at Castle again to get the cop out, and Castle pleaded with her to drop her weapon. She didn't. Then, the next thing she knew, the shooter was firing at her. Before she got hit, Castle jumped out and pushed her into the wall. He took a bullet in the chest. She stared in horror as he bled out in front of her, and jolted awake, tears pouring down her face. The line that went through her mind was Agent Shaw, saying "He cares about you, Kate. You may not see it. You may not be ready to. But he does."_

_End Flashback--_

Kate may not have noticed it then, but the walls that she put up were slowly breaking down...

She wasn't ready to let him in, but she wasn't ready to let him go either. But now, he was gone for a year. "Well," she sighed. "There's work to be done. I need to get my mind off of it anyways."


	4. After

(A/N)! Okay, I'm sorry I couldn't get this up sooner, but I had to study for a huge exam in geography (which I just took today and I knew every answer :D) so I had to postpone the posting. So, the thing here is, I ran out of ideas. I had some, but I started doing a new fanfiction with a friend of mine, and we kind of stole them. So, if you have any more ideas, I can take them and make them work. Thanks!!!! ChatChateau ;)

(2 weeks after Castle's return)

Beckett sat at her desk after solving another case. Castle eased into the chair near her. "We haven't done anything together since I came home. Wanna go get a drink?" Kate smiled at him. "I would, but I'm tired, Castle. I'm going home and getting some rest. Night." She stood up and walked out. He leaned back in his chair. After kissing her at her apartment, why was she still pushing him away? He walked down to autopsy. "Rick Castle," Lanie smiled. "I haven't seen you down here after hours in a while. What brings you?"

"I don't know if she told you, but I thought we got together. We kissed in her apartment the day I returned. She told me about the nightmares and then she asked me to never leave her again. I promised her I wouldn't, but now... she won't do anything other than solve cases with me."

"Sounds like she still doesn't know what she wants. You know, stuff like this is hard for her. To her, letting people in is a weakness, but when she does its a strength. Her heart just can't make up its mind." She put her hand on his arm. "Give her some more time."

"I don't how much time my heart can afford to give her." Lanie could see the hurt in his eyes a mile away. She loved Kate, but just didn't know what to do with her. Castle got up, as he was about to go, Lanie called his name. He turned and gave a weak smile. "I know she's blind. I just hope she's not deaf."

Lanie waited about ten seconds after he had gone and she called her best friend. "Beckett." She heard stress in her friend's voice.

"Girl, what is wrong with you?"

"Lanie? What are you talking about?"

"You better fix this, or you're going to break something."

"I don't understand."

"Look into your heart, Kate." Lanie hung up. Kate pulled the phone down from her ear, puzzled. She didn't know what to do, so she tried washing it away in the shower. While she was in the shower, Castle knocked on her door. When she didn't answer, he assumed she just didn't want to talk to him, so he texted her, "I stopped by your place. Call if you feel like talking." He walked slowly down the hallway, and sighed. Kate got out of the shower, still as troubled as ever. She changed into comfortable, stay at home clothes and sighed. She glanced over at her phone, and picked it up realizing there was a missed text. She read it and jumped off of the couch. "This was sent less than five minutes ago... I might be able to find him still." she thought to herself as she ran down the hall and down the stairs (the elevator was taking too long to arrive). She ran out of her building and saw him about to duck into a taxi. "Castle!" she shouted. He didn't hear her. She picked up her phone and called him. "Yes, Beckett?"

"Get out of that taxi?" She said, just as it passed in front of her. He looked out of the window and saw her standing there in pajamas, on her phone. "Driver, pull over. Beckett, I'll be right there." He hung up and got out of the taxi. He jogged over to her. "Sorry, I didn't hear you at the door. I was in the shower." She seemed restless, and Castle saw fear in her eyes. "It's fine. Do you want to go back up to your apartment?" She looked up, then back at him. "Not really. Can we go to yours?"

"Um, yeah. Sure, sure." He sounded a little taken aback. But they hailed another taxi and were at his place in no time. "So, what's on your mind?"

"I don't really know. I mean, well..." she looked down. "What about you? What's on your mind, Castle? You came to see me."

"I just want to know what the deal is between us. After the day I came home, it went back to the way it was before I left."

"This isn't easy for me."

"Me either. Lanie said I should give you some time. Some more time."

"More time for what? And you talked to Lanie about this?"

"Well, you won't do anything with me outside of work, and she's your best friend. I just thought-" he stopped, and walked over to the couch. He realized their voices were raised, and luckily Alexis was with some friends.

"How come everyone can see something that I can't?"

"Maybe because you don't want to see it."

"No! That's the opposite! I want to know why everyone keeps acting like it's a shame I can't see 'it', and I want to know what 'it' is!" she moved over and flopped down onto his couch. He sat down next to her. "Kate. I need to know something." She nodded, and looked into his deep blue eyes. They were full of fear as well.

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Kate. I love you. If you can't return it then I have no choice but to stop shadowing you. I don't know how many more rejections I can take until I snap!" his voice was filled with intensity, but without harshness. She didn't know what to say, so she kept silent.

"My heart. Lanie told me to look into my heart. But... my heart doesn't say anything, all it says is 'Hey, Kate, he loves you so you can freak out now.'." They both laughed a little.

"Kate. Feel free to stay as long as you want. I'm going to be right back." He smiled at her but it was weak. She was sure that this was a below-the-belt hit for him. He didn't come back immediately. She guessed he was giving her time, and he was. "Kate, I love you." his voice rang throughout her head. She unwillingly let tears fill her eyes, and spill down her cheeks. She sniffled softly, and whispered to herself, "I love him. Do I? I do. I do love him. I love him." She broke down, and Castle came out of his study and sat beside her.

"Whoa, hey, what happened?"

"I love you!" She choked out in sobs, and he pulled her close. He let her cry on his shoulder, and he squeezed her hand, whispered soothingly in her ear. They sat together for a long time. Little by little Kate calmed down. When she wiped her eyes and was able to see him without the blur of tears, he smiled at her. He leaned in and was about to kiss her, when they heard the door open. Both of them turned and saw Alexis come in. "Hey Dad! Oh, hi Beckett, I didn't know you were coming over."

"Hey, Alexis." Beckett turned away and tried to make her eyes look less red. Castle got up. "Hey Pumpkin. How was the shopping?"

"It was fun, but now I have homework to do. I'll be down for dinner later." Just like that, she was up the stairs.

"Wow. Hard to believe she's got my genes, huh." Beckett laughed. "She's a great girl, Castle."

"So are you." They leaned in and kissed, briefly, but Kate pulled away first.

"What?"

"That was kinda lame."

"I know." And he kissed her again, playfully. "Castle..."

"Kate, don't start with the don't-leave-me stuff again."

"I was going to say, thank you for being here for me. Even through all the pain I know I caused."

"Hey, you've been dealt a ton of pain even before I met you, so don't worry about it."

She smiled at him. "I really do love you Castle, but tell Ryan and Esposito about the sobbing, and I will kill you."

"That's my girl."


End file.
